There are a lot of happy people in the United States right now. Writers of dystopian fantasy, builders and designers of underground bunkers, canned food salesmen, the Kleenex™ brand, carpenters specializing in flammable crosses.

However, the majority of those celebrating are not actually doom freaks. Not that they are the noble white savages that the media has fallen all over themselves to portray in a sympathetic light. They are people who prefer simple explanations, people who sign their Facebook posts, people who type the names of websites they’d like to visit into the google search box.

They are people who care about The Constitution. Not the actual document but the one in the painting with Jesus and George Washington. They are likely to own an airbrushed print of the twin towers superimposed over a crying eagle.

They also truly believe they made the best choice for the country.

Meanwhile things are going to get worse. A lot worse. They will (ironically?) get worse for the people who feel like they’ve won a victory today. While those in my bubble are wondering if you can sous vide with tears, we know we’ll get over it. Loudly, of course. We’ll say “I told you so” in smug Facebook posts—though by now we’ve righteously de-friended all those who disagree with us, but it’s the thought that counts.

We’ll take comfort in the fact that Rome reached the height of its power almost a hundred years after Caligula was emperor.

Later, when the Rural Wastes have been decimated by floods and plague, we will elect another charismatic champion of hope. We’ll dance with tears in our eyes at the chance to rebuild burnt bridges and mend our national conscience. The post-signers, the email-forwarders, and the crying eagles will again be exiled to the fringe.

We’ll pretend none of this ever happened and we’ll all be just as surprised the next time it does.